26-year-old single mother demands to stay in in her 17-year-old sister's college dorm room with her and her roommate: 'Plus, a baby crying all night in a shared dorm?'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Mar 18, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Dorm rooms are cramped. crowded spaces, consisting of beds almost (sometimes actually) stacked on top of each other with barely enough room for the inhabitant's stuff, this extrapolates into the other close-quarter shared spaces that make up living in a dorm. Never at any point would you think having a baby in one of these environments would be good for the child nor for the mother and the other inhabitants of the dorm. There is far too much coming and going, and the living quarters are far too densely packed to even fit a bassinet, let alone a third bed. Plus, can you imagine your dorm roommate telling you that your sister and her baby were coming to live with you? Besides, whether or not it's a terrible idea, dorms can have pretty strict rules about long-staying and overnight guests, and it really seems like, apart from being a terrible idea, it would very likely not be allowed. 

Inexplicably, that didn't stop this 17-year-old student's older sister, a 26-year-old single mother, from asking to come and stay with her in her dorm room because she didn't want to live with their "judgemental" parents. Inexplicably, the parents supported this, pressuring the younger sister to allow her sister to live with her.

Frustrated, the student shared her experience with this online community to see if she was wrong for refusing.

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  • 01

    "She asked if I could request permission for her to stay in my dorm with her baby for a while..."

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for refusing to share my college dorm room for my older sister and her baby?"

    I (19F) am in my first year of college and live in a small dorm room on campus. My sister (26F) had a baby a few months ago, and she's been struggling financially. She and the baby's father broke up, and she had to move back in with our parents. The problem is, she hates living there because our parents are "too controlling" and "judgmental" about her being a single mom. She asked if I could request permission for her to stay in my dorm with her baby for a while because it would be "quieter" and
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  • 03
    I told her no. My dorm is tiny, barely big enough for me, and I have a roommate. Plus, a baby crying all night in a shared dorm? That's not fair to my roommate or me. She got upset and said I was being selfish, that family should help each other, and that she'd do it for me if roles were reversed. Now my parents are also pressuring me to "just let her stay for a little while" because she's struggling. My roommate thinks the whole situation is crazy and that I shouldn't feel bad, but I'm starting
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  • 04
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a hole: 1. I refused to share my college dorm room with my sister who has a child due to my dorm room being too small and me having a roommate. 2. It might make me the a hole becsue it makes me look selfish. My sister and parents are mad at me.
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  • 05
    Discount_Mithral • 7h ago NTA. As you stated - a crying baby is not fair or quiet for anyone. How loud can your parents' house be that she needs to get away? It's not about volume, it's that she doesn't want to listen to mom and dad tell her they are disappointed in her choices.
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  • 06
    My guess is your campus will have a firm "No" as an answer to this. So, I actually do encourage you to reach out to them to ask what the policy is on non- students living on campus/in a dorm room that is already at capacity. If, as I suspect, it's a clear "Not allowed" - print that out and hand it to both her and your parents.
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  • 07
    Editing to add: Your sister would 100% use this as an excuse to use you as free labor to take care of her child. This is a time when you should be focusing on schoolwork and living the college life, not taking care of someone else's baby.
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  • 08

    "She got upset and said I was being selfish, that family should help each other, and that she’d do it for me if roles were reversed."

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    via Patrick Boucher

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    lamIrene 7h ago • NTA. At all! Wow. What an ask. I can't imagine your roommate going for that arrangement, lol. She got upset and said I was being selfish Au contraire...she's selfishly asking you and your roommate to 100% disrupt your living situation to accommodate her. Pot meet kettle. Now my parents are also pressuring me to "just let her stay for a little while"
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  • 10
    Nope. It's a ludicrous suggestion. Maybe tell your parents to go on vacation for "a little while" and give her some breathing room. NTA! Stand your ground or become her first "go to" whenever she wants to take advantage...not that your roommate would allow her, lol.
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  • 11
    OldSaggy Biscuits 7h ago • NTA, and your college/university might actually have something to say about you moving non- enrolled people into your dorm room. There is probably also some liability for having minors in the dorm. Unless you want to risk getting kicked out for housing people you shouldn't, stick to your guns. Also, she's 26, and has a home, she should evaluate her life choices before she burdens you with them.
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  • 12
    StrangerOnReddit 7h ago • NTA. What a wildly irrational request. A shared college dorm room is no place for a newborn. It's not selfish to tell her no; You have a roommate to consider and you're both there to study, so a baby would make that difficult. Beyond that dorm rooms are generally cramped as it is. To add another adult and a baby would leave practically no room. And i'm not sure if she's never been in a dorm room before but they generally aren't exactly quiet spaces. I'd honestly be temp
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  • 13
    KBPredditQueen • 6h ago Nta, but this can't be real, Is she serious? Firstly, the college/university would presumably never allow an infant to take up residency in a dorm, not set up for parents, it's a liability nightmare. Second, she honestly thinks a dorm room with 3 adults and one baby in a building full of teens and early 20's cohabitating will be quieter than a house full of boomers? Third, your parents are really willing to potentially sabotage your education to pacify your sister?
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single mother family drama mother sibling rivalry sisters siblings family feud parenting family sister little sister parents
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